Eastbournetennis.com

Tennis jokes

Short shots | to the point

Where do ghosts play tennis?
On a tennis corpse!

How many tennis players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What do you mean it was out, it was in!

What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?
“See you round..."

Why is tennis a noisy game?
Because each player raises a racket.

Why are fish never good tennis players?
Because they don’t like getting close to the net.

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?
Because to them 'love' means nothing.

What is James Bond's favourite sport?
(Scottish accent) Tennish.

To a tennis player 'love' means you haven't scored yet!

Long shots | volley funny

Two tennis players were fed up in a restaurant and decided enough was enough, it was time to speak out about the 'double fault' there - namely the poor 'service' and noisy 'racket'. But they did give the waiter a 'backhand' complement as they 'set' off home.

A jogger stumbled across a brand new tennis ball while out in the park early one morning. As no one was around, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts to take home for his dog - Martina - to play with.
Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl on her way to the office stood next to him and couldn't stop staring at the large bulge in his shorts and quickly asked "What's that?"
"Tennis ball," replied the exhausted jogger.
"Oh dear," added the blonde sympathetically. "That must be really, really painful, I remember being in agony when I had tennis elbow last year!"

Tennis lingo

ACE | Serve that is neither touched nor returned by the receiving player.

ADVANTAGE | First point won following deuce. When the server wins this point it is called advantage. If the non-serving player wins the point, it becomes break point.

ALLEY | The lane between the singles and doubles sidelines, which is out of bounds in singles.

ATP | Association of Tennis Professionals, which runs the men’s professional circuit

BACKHAND | The stroke when the player turns so that the shoulder of the racket-bearing arm faces the net before the player brings the racket forward and across the body to meet the ball.

BACKSPIN | Undercutting of the ball with the racket to make the ball bounce back towards the net. Opposite of top spin.

BAGEL | The winning of a set without dropping a game, which is 6-0. A overall victory without dropping a game is called a double bagel (6-0, 6-0) or triple bagel (6-0, 6-0, 6-0).

BALL BOY/GIRL | The person, male or female, who retrieves tennis balls from the court that have gone out of play.

BASELINE | boundary on either end of the court representing the outer limits of the length of the court.

BASELINE PLAY | Only hitting long ground strokes from the baseline through the game.

BREAK OF SERVE | When the non-serving player wins the game.

BREAK POINT | When a non-serving player has the scoring advantage and is only one point away from winning the game.

CROSSCOURT SHOT | When a ball is hit diagonally across the tennis court on a baseline ground stroke.

DEUCE | When opponents are tied in a game from '40' onwards, as a game must be won by a two point margin.

DOUBLE FAULT | When both serving attempts fail to land inside the service court, meaning the opponent wins the point.

DOWN THE LINE | Hitting the ball straight and down the line of the opponent’s court.

DROP SHOT | A lightly hit, spinning return that drops softly over the net, forcing the opponent to approach the net.

FAULT | When a serve fails to land in the service court, or is deemed an illegal serve.

FOOT FAULT | When the server steps across the baseline prior to hitting the ball.

FORCED ERROR | When a player is out of position and unable to return a strong shot by an opposing player.

FOREHAND | When a player pivots the body so that the shoulder of the non racket-bearing arm faces the net and then the player swings the racket forward to hit the ball.

GAME, SET & MATCH | The words used by an umpire when the match has been won.

GOLDEN SLAM | Winning the Grand Slam and the tennis Olympic gold medal in one calendar year

GRAND SLAM | The name of the four major tournaments in a calendar year. It starts with the Australian Open, then the French Open, Wimbledon and the US Open.

GROUND STOKE | A forehand or backhand shot that is executed after the ball bounces once on the court.

HOLDING SERVE | When a serving player wins their own service game.

LET | When a served ball touches the net cord and lands within the service court, which means the player serves again.

LOB | When the ball is lifted high above the net and over an opponent who is close at the net.

LOVE | Means no points.

MATCH | Refers to the overall contest and is made up of games and sets.

MATCH POINT | When a player a single point away from winning the match. Double and triple set points describe when a player has a two or three point lead in a game that would decide the match in their favour.

NO MAN’S LAND | The backcourt area between the baseline and the net.

OVERHEAD SMASH | A overhand volley shot.

PLAYING THE NET | When players approach and position themselves at the net in order to cut down on the court size and make return volleys.

PUT AWAY | When the ball has been hit hard past an opponent who has no chance to return the ball.

RALLY | When players trade strokes on a single point.

RECEIVER | The player who receives the ball from the server.

SERVE | This begins every point of a match, with a game initiated by one player.

SERVE AND VOLLEY | The quick approach to the net by the serving player after a serve who hits the ball on the volley from the return shot.

SERVICE COURT | The area of the court between the net, the singles sideline, and the service line where the ball is served.

SET | The grouping of games in a match. Each set is played until one side wins a total of six games by a margin of at least two games, unless the set reaches six games each and sometimes a tie break is played to decide the set winner.

SET POINT | When a player a single point away from winning the set. Double and triple set points describe when a player has a two or three point lead in a game that would decide the set in their favour.

SLICE | Similar to backspin in that it is a way of striking the ball so that it doesn’t bounce well for the opponent.

SLICE SERVE | Serving the ball and causing it to spin away from the opponent, usually used on a second serve.

STRAIGHT SETS | Winning a match without losing a set.

STROKE | A player’s motion when hitting the ball.

TIE BREAK | When players are tied at six games each in a set, a tie break can be used to determine the winner of the set. Players alternate serving until one player reaches seven points by a margin of at least two points.

TOP SPIN | When the player brings the racket over the ball and strikes it so that it spins from low to high as it travels forward. Opposite of back spin.

UNFORCED ERROR | When a player loses a point because of an error on a ball that should not have occurred.

VOLLEY | When a player strikes the ball before it bounces.

WTA | Women’s Tennis Association, the women’s professional circuit.

Tennis jokes

Tennis lingo