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Tennis jokes

Short shots | To the point

Where do ghosts play tennis? “
On a tennis corpse!

How many tennis players does it take to screw in a light bulb?”
What do you mean it was out, it was in!

What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?”
“See you round…”

Why is tennis a noisy game?”
Because each player raises a racket.

Why are fish never good tennis players?”
Because they don’t like getting close to the net.

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?”
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?”
Because to them ‘love’ means nothing.

What is James Bond’s favourite sport?”
(Scottish accent) Oh-Oh-Tennish.

Long shots | Volley funny

Two tennis players were fed up in a restaurant and decided enough was enough, it was time to speak out about the ‘double fault’ there – namely the poor ‘service’ and noisy ‘racket’. But they did give the waiter a ‘backhand’ complement as they ‘set’ off home.

A jogger stumbled across a brand new tennis ball while out in the park early one morning. As no one was around, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts to take home for his dog – Martina – to play with.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.

A blonde girl on her way to the office stood next to him and couldn’t stop staring at the large bulge in his shorts and quickly asked “What’s that?

“Tennis ball,” replied the exhausted jogger.
“Oh dear,” added the blonde sympathetically.
“That must be really, really painful, I remember being in agony when I had tennis elbow last year!”

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